and Why It Matters for Emotional Wellbeing
“In our culture, rage is considered mostly unacceptable, especially by women. But rage is one of our eight circuits of emotion and motivation. Rage helps us understand when our boundaries have been violated.” – Sarah Peyton
Rage is often misunderstood. Many people think of it as something dangerous or shameful, something to hide or suppress. But Jaak Panksepp’s research shows that the RAGE circuit is an ancient emotional system designed to protect us. It activates when something blocks us, stops us, or violates what matters. Rage is a signal. It tells us that something is not right.
In Sarah Peyton’s interview with Guy MacPherson on the Trauma Therapist Podcast, she explains why rage is essential to our wellbeing. She brings the lens that it is possible to be angry that, rather than angry at. Angry that there is injustice. Angry that someone we love has been harmed. Angry that our boundaries were crossed. This is what Sarah calls clean rage, where the energy of anger moves through the body without turning into blame or predatory aggression. You can find the link to this Podcast and listen via Sarah Peyton’s website here
Clean rage helps us protest what matters. It helps us stand up for ourselves. It helps us recognise our values and protect them. And resonance is what makes clean rage possible. When someone meets us with warmth and curiosity, the reactive charge can express itself at the full volume required. We can feel the anger without being consumed by it. We can express it without harming ourselves or others. We can transform reactivity into life‑serving emotional clarity.
Rage is useful and life serving. Rage that there is so much injustice in the world. Rage that someone’s car rolled into a person you love and they are in the hospital with broken bones. Rage that your boundaries were ignored and Uncle Bob was allowed to kiss you against your wishes. Rage that you were silenced. Rage that you were overlooked. Rage that something precious was harmed. Rage can help us let off steam, be heard and show the strength of what matters to us. Rage helps us reclaim our voice and some life energy.
I grew up in a home where my dad was the only person allowed to be angry. He had lived through so much, from a life‑changing MS diagnosis to long stretches of childhood loneliness and the horrors of the Burmese jungle during the war. Of course he was angry. Unfortunately it had got tangled up with the Seeking circuit and some predatory aggression – which meant when he was cross he might sometimes lash out. My mum never showed anger, a little lip tightening frustration perhaps. And when my older siblings got cross, punishment followed.
Early on I learned to stay quiet, trying to stay safe and never express anger in the hopes to stay away from being the target of anger and its tangled actor aggression. Even in resonance sessions years later, people would sometimes guess if I might be feeling angry or needing to protest? But I couldn’t find anger anywhere in my body. Somewhere along the line I had promised myself I would never be like my dad and would not scare or hurt others.
A couple of years ago something changed. I was in a constellation session and standing up to represent anger. I did not feel hot or dangerous, I was not angry at anyone – only clear, ready to step in if needed, ready to protect, but also just waiting, sort of like a train signal – go or stop.
A couple of years ago I got an email that made me so so so…. what even was this feeling? The body sensations were that I felt great heat in my chest, rising up my throat like lava. It wasn’t just anger, it was rage. Clean, appropriate, unmistakable. I wanted the magnitude of it to be known, and when it was reflected back to me in words with resonance, the charge was discharged. Rage had done its job. It had shown me a boundary, a value of mine, what really mattered to me.
Over the years, resonance has helped me welcome anger in myself and in others. Now I can often stay present when someone is angry without dissolving into helpless tears or being frozen. My RAGE circuit used to be entangled with the PANIC/GRIEF circuit and would leave me in a puddle of tears. Nowadays I see anger as part of my evolution, learning to tolerate and even welcome anger as a sign that something really matters. How do you do with anger? Is it a friend, a warning, or something that feels scary? I’m still working on how to be open if someone is angry at me.
A client brought a memory of being told to stay quiet as a child. As I accompanied them, the frozen rage thawed. They felt the heat in their chest and realised, “I was just trying to protect myself, of course I felt angry. Wow, that’s so different.” With resonance, the anger became fuel for a clean protest for what mattered. They left feeling stronger, clearer and more connected to their own healthy boundaries.
Jaak Panksepp identified the RAGE circuit as one of the 7 circuits of emotion and motivation. It is one of our basic life energy pathways.
Rage is not a flaw. It is a compass. It points toward what matters most to us. When met with resonance, rage becomes clean, clear and life‑serving. It helps us protect our values, honour our boundaries and reclaim our voice. And bit by bit, it reminds us that we make sense, and that every emotion has wisdom when held with warmth.