Say “Yes” to Reality

Do you ever have those conversations with yourself when you are saying “I don’t want to do this”…. washing up / commute to work / paperwork  and yet you are doing it?  Yes you are actually doing it.  Your hands are in the washing-up water / you are driving your car or sitting on the train / you are writing letters and numbers.

Many of us end up in a loop when we fight reality in this way.  The effect of thinking one thing and doing another = tension.

What can you do about this situation?  There are a few choices:

  1.  accept and acknowledge it.
  2. complain and repeat.
  3. consciously release the tension.
  4. stop and do something you’d rather do.
  5. make peace with your thoughts, get your thinking and your actions in line with each other.

Let’s look at option number 5.  How might you go about making peace with your thoughts?  Have you thought about what motivates you to do the washing-up?

I can understand that you might rather be reading, relaxing, crafting or socialising, so why are you washing up?  Is it because you enjoy having clean plates to eat off?  Is it because you like your kitchen to be organised?  Is it because you want to complete this task before you move onto something else?

When we see what the value is of doing what we are doing, we can get our mind and body in harmony with our actions.  We can wholeheartedly get behind our actions when we are clear what values they serve for us (in this example) – hygiene, order or completion.  The tension is free to dissipate and we can put that energy to better use doing exactly what we are doing right now.

These two aren’t arguing with themselves.  They look like they are saying ‘Yes” to this activity and are fully engaged in the experience.  The squat is a perfect example of a natural and efficient movement, which uses the least amount of effort required for the job in hand.

Say “Yes” to reality and get fully with what you are choosing to do.

Lucy Ascham is an Alexander Technique teacher who enjoys washing-up when she does it.  She enjoys her commute to work – either a walk upstairs to her Teaching Room, a short car journey to the Therapy Room Sheffield or the train journey to Manchester Bodywise through the gorgeous Hope Valley.

Written by Lucy Ascham, Body & Soul Energy Expert

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“No pain in the night, no pain when I got up, no pain when I went for a run and no pain now! It’s much more than I expected, thank you! "


"It is as though I have been gifted an entirely new lens through which to view human behaviour, and it is a lens of compassion and empathy like no other. Due to this, I have been able to come to terms with the way my family operates, which has proven to be a great relief. I would definitely recommend working with Lucy. She held such a safe space for me and my vulnerability with great compassion and authenticity."


"Using these techniques has helped me reduce the day-to-day tension I’ve developed over a lifetime of anxious habits and hypersensitivity. It’s been amazing to re-learn how my body works, and how to swap out the survival mechanisms that got me so far, for habits more in keeping with how my body is happier to work."

Alex Booer

“I’ve been doing the Alexander Technique with Lucy over the past few months and my posture has improved enormously. I have a greater awareness of how my body functions and can recognise the signs of when I’m falling into bad habits."

Paul Tolton, Actor

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"I had a traumatic accident a few years ago. After you ‘wriggled’ my head it felt weird – and really good. I could walk evenly for the first time in years!! I’m making friends with my body.”

Zoe, Singer

"I have been happily surprised and have learned a lot about how my muscles and spine behave when I let them. I rapidly realised that AT is not in the least pseudoscience, rather it teaches one to be aware of how the body is holding itself."

Julian Davis, Retired Professor of Medicine & Pianist

"I've just had two enjoyable and useful sessions with Lucy on Zoom. I had been doubtful about how it would work but I was pleased with how it went. Of course, nothing is as good as face-to-face but we are where we are and this was great and has helped me to progress as I had hoped. Thank you. Looking forward to the next ones!"


"Lucy's sessions are amazing. Her unique blend of skills helped me have good posture without effort. Before this, I had seen many physiotherapists and osteopaths, but the pain kept coming back within a few weeks. Even after my first session with Lucy, the difference was so clear that my friends commented on it. After several months, the effects are being maintained with her support."




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