đż Healing Sentences and Everyday SelfâCare
Life brings us many challenges: family entanglements, unexpected grief, even something as ordinary as a trip to the dentist. What Iâve learned through years of practicing and teaching the Alexander Technique in Sheffield, and through Family Constellations work, is that we can meet these experiences with more ease, awareness, and compassion.
Healing Sentences in Constellations Work
In Constellations, we often use short, powerful phrases to untangle hidden family dynamics. One such sentence we use at the end of a piece of work is:Â âTake what is yours and leave me what is mine.â
Many of us carry roles that were never truly ours. A boy child might be told to âbe the man of the houseâ after his dad leaves, or a girl may step into the role of âbeing the mumâ for younger siblings when her mother dies young. These roles can weigh heavily, even decades later. Healing sentences such as âI am not your mum, I am your older sisterâ or âI am not your husband, I am your oldest sonâ help restore order and balance. They acknowledge what is true, and allow this person to step back into their rightful place. These sentences are often used as part of a larger piece of work.
Everyday SelfâCare: Lessons from the Dentistâs Chair
Recently I had dental work, and although the team cared for me well, the experience left aches in my jaw muscles and small injuries where the Xâray sheets pressed sharply against my mouth, biting down caused discomfort, and my lips and cheeks were pulled aside to give the dentist space to work.
In those moments, I noticed how anxiety and anticipation of pain created tightness. Using the Alexander Technique, I consciously released tension, letting my muscles soften. Afterwards, I applied lipsalve and gave myself extra Constructive Rest. Releasing the tension meant that my lips and cheek were more supple and I wasn’t resisting the movement – making it easier for me and the dentist.
Supporting the Vagus Nerve
The vagus nerve is the longest cranial nerve, running from the brainstem through the neck to the abdomen. It supports vital functions such as heart rate, digestion, and breathing. The Alexander Technique naturally attends to this nerve. When we are in a state of fight-flight-freeze-alarmed aloneness, our vagus nerve is impacted and can temporarily shut down our digestion, and get out heart rate up and breathing going in case we need to run for our lives. Unfortunately, its the same ancient alarm-system which goes off with being in the dentist’s chair or seeing how many unread emails you have!
When we release the head and neck joint, a key first-step in the Alexander Technique and to allow the spine to return to its natural length and curves, the vagus nerve is less pinched or stretched. This helps restore better breathing and organ function. Returning us towards calm and an inner sense of safety.
I recommend lying down for 20 minutes each day: on your back, a book under your head, knees bent, feet on the floor, hands resting on your belly. This simple practice restores balance to the whole self.
Meeting Grief with Resonance
Alongside physical recovery, Iâve been sitting with sadness. My sonâs grandmother recently passed away. My ex’s mum. She was a bright mathematician, yet of her time, and her husband insisted she stay home with the children instead of working. I mourn her, and I mourn the loss of her sharing her knowledge and being treated as an equal in the professional world, and my connection with that side of the family after my separation.
Through Resonance work, I sit with my hand lightly on my heart, noticing tightness in my chest and throat, welcoming these sensations as love notes from my body. Allowing tears to flow brings relief and helps me meet grief without blame or resistance.
Finding Joy in Everyday Movement
Healing is not only about releasing unnecessary tension, and unblocking old hurts so love can flow again. It is also about embracing joy. For me, that includes watching Strictly Come Dancing, seeing the relationships unfold between the celebrities (who I often don’t even know) and their pro dancers, through music and movement. I also have a practice of walking daily in the wooded valley near my home in Sheffield.
Movement, nature, and rhythm keep me well.
â Frequently Asked Questions about the Alexander Technique and Constellations
What is the Alexander Technique?
The Alexander Technique is a practical method for improving posture, reducing tension, and supporting overall wellbeing. It teaches you to notice and change habitual reactions to stress, helping you move with more ease and balance.
How does the Alexander Technique help with stress and anxiety?
By encouraging you to pause before reacting, the Technique helps calm the nervous system. This reduces fight or flight responses, supports better breathing, and allows you to choose more constructive ways of coping with stress.
What are healing sentences in Family Constellations work?
Healing sentences are short, powerful phrases used in Family Constellations to acknowledge hidden dynamics and restore balance. For example: âI am not your mum, I am your older sister.â These are the type of sentences which help untangle roles that were never truly ours to carry. As a facilitator I often offer these types of sentences towards the end of a piece of work once we’ve uncovered the tension and entanglement and are working on the resolution.
Can anyone benefit from the Alexander Technique in Sheffield?
Yes. Whether you are dealing with physical pain, emotional stress, or simply want to improve your posture, balance and stamina, the Alexander Technique offers tools for everyday life. Lessons are suitable for all ages and backgrounds.
How can I try a session?
You can book a free taster session with Lucy in Sheffield to experience the Alexander Technique or Constellations work for yourself. đ Visit www.lucyascham.com to reserve your place.
