“Resonance helps people move from self‑judgment into curiosity and a whole new relationship with themselves” – Sarah Peyton
The SEEKING circuit is one of the seven core emotional and motivational systems in our brain identified by neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp. It is the deep, subcortical engine that fuels curiosity, exploration, motivation and the sense that life holds possibility. When this circuit is flowing, we feel energised, hopeful and able to move toward what matters. When it is blocked, people often feel stuck, depressed, overwhelmed or disconnected from desire.
Panksepp describes SEEKING as the default emotional system. It is the part of us that gets us out of bed, helps us try new things and gives us the spark of maybe something good is possible. It is not about pleasure itself, but about the anticipation and excitement of moving toward life.
Sarah Peyton builds on this by showing how resonance, warm attuned empathy and accompaniment, helps people shift out of shame and back into curiosity. Shame is one of the biggest inhibitors of the SEEKING circuit. Resonance melts shame, restores a sense of safety and brings the SEEKING system back online.
Sarah Peyton writes, “Working with shame is often really about disgust, and how we learn as little ones to turn toward the self with disgust which evolves into shame for the self. Understanding emotional circuitry helps us bring compassionate understanding to ourselves, and learning to receive the messages our bodies are sending is key to beginning to bring warmth to the self.”
Do you ever feel stuck on a project and can’t get started or take the next step? I had this the other day. I’m getting my son’s room replastered while he’s away this summer, but I also need to choose and organise paint, curtains and a carpet. But I was stuck. It felt like one of those handheld puzzles where you slide tiles around with one gap missing, except all the tiles were full and no movement was possible.
I gave myself some resonance, calling on my inner Resonant Self Witness. “Lucy, do you need acknowledgment of stuckness and overwhelm and would you love some support? Yes, I sigh.
Do you need any acknowledgment for alarmed aloneness? Yes, and my shoulders slump.
Would it be sweet if someone else understood how many times in your life you’ve had dig deep to do things on your own and how hard that is on your body and health? It really is. None of the tasks are difficult, but it is hard to have to fuel everything myself all the time.
An impossible dream guess: Would you love to go to sleep and wake up with the room all done for you, like the story of the Elves and the Shoemaker? Oh yes. My eyes light up with delight and wonder as my brain imagines this Done For Me service.”
In that moment of warmth and imagination, something inside me shifted. The tiles loosened, movement and space reappeared. My SEEKING circuit came back online and I was able to phone a friend to ask them to come with me and choose curtains.
I remember working with someone during my Resonance training who only had black clothes in her wardrobe. She had lost interest in herself as a woman after the heartbreak of two short relationships that she saw as failures. During our hour together, I offered many resonant guesses and Fresh Metaphors. I wondered if she might be anything like a rare flowering plant that only blooms once every twenty‑five years? Her face lit up with wonder and delight. Something in her settled at being understood. She began remembering how much she loved wearing bright colours and floral patterns and some of the delightful things she’d enjoyed about being in those relationships.
Why the SEEKING Circuit Matters
The SEEKING circuit lives in the mesolimbic dopamine pathway, running through ancient subcortical regions of the brain. This means it is felt in the body, not thought into existence. When it is active, people feel curious, energised, hopeful and able to take steps toward goals. When it is shut down, people often feel depressed, frozen, overwhelmed or disconnected from desire.
Understanding this circuit helps us recognise that lack of motivation is not a character flaw. It is a neurobiological state.
How Resonance Supports the SEEKING Circuit
Resonance helps the SEEKING circuit by:
- melting shame
- reducing self‑criticism
- increasing curiosity
- restoring access to desire and possibility
- helping people feel safe enough to explore again
When someone receives warm, attuned resonance, their nervous system shifts out of collapse and into openness. This is the moment when SEEKING can return, when the spark of ‘maybe something good is possible‘ flickers back to life.
The SEEKING circuit is the part of us that reaches toward life. It is the quiet inner movement that says there might be something here for me. When it goes silent, it is never because we are lazy or broken. It is because something(s) overwhelmed our system and the body protected us the only way it knew how.
Resonance gives us a way back. With warmth, acknowledgment and gentle accompaniment, the body begins to trust again. Curiosity returns. Possibility returns. The sense of being able to move toward life returns. Each moment of resonance is a small act of repair, helping us reclaim the SEEKING circuit and rebuild a kinder relationship with ourselves.
I sometimes think of resonance as taking one thing off that has been squeezing and constricting the fuel pipes for our life’s energy. Each conversation can release a little bit of the pressure, and allow a little bit more life-fuel to pass through us.
If you are curious and ready to explore a conversation with me, please write back with something here that touched you, or let me know what you’d like to explore.